Thursday, August 30, 2007

Drowning in the Flood

There's no flood, "it's nothing but some feelings," that I "have kicked up."
The night was choking me, this past one. I couldn't sleep, couldn't work, didn't want to think and couldn't stop thinking. I will not write about the "what" of my thoughts, that's for me and I won't forget it, if for nothing else but the words someone told me.
The darkness was pressing against my chest. The man/boy I know as myself was being held up by the throat by some unseen monster. I couldn't breathe. Usually, he finds escape through tears and anger, but not this time. Usually, anger at the world comes first, or pity at him and remorse and shame for what I've done and he has not done. Then comes the decision and resolve, that since this world knows me not, since I know this world not, there can be no decision made and no resolve formed about anything that happens here. Let it throw you to and fro, let it play with me, let it kill him.
After that comes the sleep. The fast, dream-less non-sleep. The one that is so akin to death.
But not last night. Last night the anger and the tears didn't come, neither the decision, nor the sleep. I was being held by the throat by some unseen monster. He was looking for the tears. They didn't come. I listened to Bleu, I listened to Elizabethtown. He imagined Danny playing the piano of the world, but the tears didn't come and the sleep didn't come.
We decided... on nothing. We couldn't agree with us. We didn't know what to do. We will hang by the throat, we will be crushed in the chest, we will be empty in the head. Until one of us knows. Until I open mind for a different view. We don't know...
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Friday, August 24, 2007

Movie List Big Update

It's a big update (more than 100 titles!) with some worthless, a lot of mediocre and a few great movies! Here's the list:
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